Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Is it still wrong to spread misinformation even if it's only to troll people rather than harming them?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If my lovely sister sleeps with my boyfriend, what should I do about her?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What are the reasons why am I so tired before my period?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Can you list every album you have ever listened to?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What’s a mistake most guys make when trying to get a girlfriend?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Is it common for female doctors to examine male patients without another nurse present? Is there a difference in protocol for nurses and physician assistants?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why do people keep denying the similarities between Latin and Italian by saying they are totally different languages when it’s obvious they sound similar?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

Did Trump show us once again that he is a master debater?

I see through liars

I don’t cotton to rapists

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Is the media protecting Kamala Harris?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Do people really have sex with animals?

I can read

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why does it matter so much to atheists that God doesn't exist?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I actually pay taxes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why do a bra and panties have to match?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What are some signs that someone may be being stalked by an organization or secret society? How can they find out for sure?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What is the reason for The Acolyte (2024 series) having poor reception among Star Wars fans?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I can count

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t